The Entrance to HFIL
by AlwaysHatedEssays
Summary: A collection of mortifying short stories and drabbles
1. A disgusting Thanksgiving VxB tittyfuqn

AN - I posted this on tumblr way back in November and thought I'd share it here. Let me know how HARD you recoiled after reading plz

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><p>Thanksgiving was well underway in the Briefs home, but the celebrations were largely ignored by Bulma and Vegeta—the two were about to engage in furious fucking on the dinner table, which Bunny Briefs had just finished placing dishes for the feast on its surface not ten seconds ago. She had sprinted off to make a last-minute purchase of some 69 proof vodka; how could she have neglected to buy the obligatory alcoholic drink to accompany the feast of the day of gluttonous gorging?<p>

Hasty zipper and bra clasp fumblings proceeded. Bulma was propped on the table, naked and limbs sprawled atop the cluttered dishes. The entire turkey had toppled over onto the floor. The green bean casserole (which nobody ever cared to eat anyway) was strewn in chunks all across the tablecloth. Bulma's ass was planted on the pumpkin pie, its gelatinous contents smeared all over the back of her thighs.

The heiress snatched up a can of whipping cream, shaking it vigorously. Vegeta swallowed with anticipation as he watched the quick movements of her forearm. The motion of Bulma's hand as she shook the can reminded him of the hand jobs she gave him with the very same powerful vertical strokes.

She directed the nozzle of the can to her chest, spraying whipped cream all over her breasts. Then with her free hand she reached for the pitcher at her side, scooping up a handful of gravy to serve as lubricant. She slathered the gooey brown substance in her cleavage.

While his vomit had to be reeled in at seeing such an inappropriate mixture of two different types of toppings, Vegeta's libido overpowered his nausea. He crawled over Bulma, planting his ass on her torso in preparation to engage in a slippery, horrid tittyfuck.

It was like sliding back and forth along a Slip n' Slide, only instead of splashing into a shallow pool of water at the end, a burst of hot semen splattered all over Bulma's face.

Bunny returned home to discover her Thanksgiving dinner was ruined. The blame was pitted on Dr. Briefs' black cat, Scratch, who notoriously plundered many holiday feasts in the past.

Bulma got a yeast infection from when Vegeta covered her genitals with mashed potatoes, which he then licked from her lady bits.

Vegeta had clotted gravy chunks covering his balls for several days, as he does not maintain a proper bathing routine.

*~The end*~ ^_^_^_^_^


	2. grandpa lovin

AN - Turtle x Crane hermit yaois for tumblr anon ;)

I can't be stopped

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><p>69 years ago the soul of King Piccolo was confined inside an electric rice cooker and tossed into the sea. 69 seconds ago the rice cooker washed up on the beach surrounding the Kame house. The senile turtle hermit had hobbled out of his home, spotted the rice cooker, and brought it inside, hoping to sell the antique and too affected by his dementia to remember that there was a demon king confined in the appliance.<p>

A knock came to the door. Roshi limped to it. His face creased in hatred, every wrinkle on his face deepened as he saw who his guest was: his former compatriot and yaoi lover Master Shen.

"What the balls are you doing here?" the turtle master croaked, trying hard to fight the sudden resurfacing lust tingling in his loins. He denied the feeling and reasoned it was simply his venereal disease acting up again.

"I didn't want to come here," Shen lied, looking down at the floor tsunderely. His sunglasses hid his shining tears of joy as he squawked "But my heart has not forgotten the love we shared!"

"Shh, say no more, my old friend," Roshi whispered, knowing what it was he needed to do. He sealed the fate of yaoi w/ a kissu. Turtle and crane met once more in a metaphorical forbidden interspecies mting dance that would be consummated on the withered couch which stank of old man flatulence and benzocaine.

Shen pulled Roshi's shorts down to reveal the turtle hermit's Depend® diaper. The lovely scent of incontinence and pulsating, sweaty wrinkled grandpa dick wafted to Shen's nostrils, and he licked his thin cracked lips.

The soul of King Piccolo sensed the waves of senior passion clashing against the walls of his rice cooker home. He was disturbed to see two emaciated lovers swapping spit and mucus on the sofa right in front of him.

Shen peeled Roshi's diaper down, checking out the revealed liver spots speckling his naked ancient body, and swathed his tongue over his uke's gnarled white happy trail hairs. Shen was glad he'd remembered to take Viagra prior to his fated encounter of true yaoi. Roshi trembled at the familiar form of the glistening dick before him. His prolapsed rectum gave no resistance to Shen's tadpole torpedo as it burst through and was captured by the hermit's throbbing anus, tightening weakly around the girth of the crane hermit.

The elder seme had to thrust at the slowest rhythm, lest his pacemaker should fail him. The burning arthritis in his hips and legs didn't offer any condolence. But the pain did not burn more intensely than his love, so he carried on. He came with a rasping cry, and Roshi released Shen's sputtering cock, which erupted a billowing cloud of cum that splattered across Roshi's stomach, the sofa, turtle, and the rice cooker.


	3. kakabeji tru love

A kakabeji mpreg 4 rose REMASTERED VERSION

A/N - Creeper fic I left in Rose's (sexystrifebullshit on tumblr) inbox, I'm trying to rekindle writing skillz after a hiatus, and the best way to do that is through grotesque imagery. sorry 4 the nightmares

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><p>Goku howled in pain as Vegeta inserted his cock into the lesser Saiyan's prolapsed asshole. Vegeta's yaoi hands reached to cover Goku's mouth, smothering out the young Saiyajin's agonized screaming as fresh princely dick filled every inch of his colon.<p>

'Silence baka,' Vegeta whispered into his uke's ear, 'compared to the birth of our mpreg baby I am about to father, this should not hurt your SSJ4 baboon ass.'

Then the pounding of the century commenced.

~The birth~

Goku fell to all fours as a crippling pain hit his intestines - the baby was coming. _No, not now! Vegeta isn't here to see his son's birth!_ Goku thought with dread, but nature would take its course despite his pleas.

The pregnant uke spread his legs and peered between his thighs. Yep, sure enough, he could spot the shit-covered head of his rectal borne offspring poking through his anus.

Goku had to go SSJ Oozaru to shit out the rest of the baby. Vegeta swooped in just in time to witness a feces and blood-bathed yaoi love spawn emerge from the thick forest of glowing golden ape butthole hairs.

The newborn prince was named Yaranaika. Kakarotto and Bejita lived in yaoi harmony 5ever from then on.


	4. VEGETAble oil

A/N - The battle between Vegeta and Android 19 takes a turn for the yaoi.

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><p>He'd given fair warning that he was apt to getting 'excited' while in his Super Saiyan form.<p>

Nimbly and with ease, Vegeta evaded every one of Android 19's advancements. An incoming blow's failure to make contact with flesh earned snarky criticism from the prince, who only took extra pleasure in goading the cyborg with name-calling.

He watched the corpulent android's hulking body bumbling closer to his own… that soft, porcelain face scrunched up in apparent frustration, and those piercing blue eyes gazing upon him… Paired with the zeal his legendary form gave him, this was enough to stir that fiery bloodlust inside Vegeta. Not to mention his secret, unyielding, ever-present urge to engage in yaoi.

This was his first real battle since he had ascended. Although he was beyond elated, he was still hoping that at least one of 19's fists would strike its mark. A battle which yielded no physical strain on his end could not stimulate him. He'd better leave an open invitation, he decided.

Vegeta proceeded to strip himself of his chest armor. His pectoral and abdominal muscles flexed beneath his bodysuit as he took on a wide stance, one which left him unguarded yet at the same time showcasing the goods between his legs; All three inches of princely cock, smothered by spandex.

19 was for a moment distracted by the sexy striptease, but he was quick to scrabble for Vegeta's chest, covering the prince's nipples with his hands and putting the energy sucking nodes on his palms to creative use. "I won't let you go," the tub of lard amended, his eyes swimming with desire.

Vegeta grunted with the pain. It felt as if electricity was shooting through the royal's pecs. The visible perspiration along his hairline would soon overflow and beads of sweat would roll down his perpetually grimacing face.

It was invigorating. And it made him even more excited.

"You androids don't feel pain, do you?"

19 was uncertain if he should process the Saiyan's words as a legitimate inquiry. Was his prince showing concern for him? The android's artificial heart began to beat harder and faster.

Everyone in the vicinity was surprised when Vegeta proclaimed next, "I have one more transformation beyond this one."

Krillin, Piccolo, Gohan and the others watched, astonished, as Vegeta gave a blood-curdling power up holler, which lasted roughly five minutes.

The dust settled and it was revealed to all what Vegeta's newly transformed state had wrought—a two foot erection bursting through his spandex.

Vegeta crawled atop the mountain of flesh and settled himself between his android uke's legs.

"I'll never let you go," 19 whispered as he was taken by his prince charming's big bang.


	5. procuring of digits and aneurysms

A/N - crack fic prompted by a friend. Vegeta gets drunk and is goaded into a challenge.

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><p>Everybody in the z gang was taking part in a night of festivities to celebrate Oolong surviving his fifth tapeworm removal. Everyone was drunk. Yamcha was thrusting away to a Lil Jon song. Oolong was completely naked except for a pair of panties on his head, and he was grinding against Puar's furry ass. Yajirobe was twerking alone in the back of the room.<p>

Vegeta had been dragged along by Bulma and forced to partake in the merriment. He sulked and looked upon the others with disgust while Bulma laughed at him. Then she left him to chat with Eighteen and Chi-Chi. She would likely brag to them about how she got her prince to do another sexy striptease in exchange for upgrades to his training equipment, Vegeta thought sadly.

He'd have to ingest a few more alcoholic beverages if he were to get through this night. He helped himself to a keg of beer, punching a hole in the top and hoisting it above his head and guzzling down its contents within seconds.

Yamcha and Krillin swaggered up to the prince. They were laughing over how Roshi had been trying to flirt with women, but they'd spurned him with slaps and a well-deserved kick to the groin.

The two noticed the Saiyan swaying in his spot and glaring drunkenly at the partygoers. Yamcha had an idea. "Hey, why don't we see what happens when Vegeta tries to pick up some babes?"

"Oh man, that's a great idea!" Krillin chortled. "Hey, Vegeta! How's it going?"

Through his drunken haze Vegeta eyed them critically.

"Krillin and I saw Roshi trying to pick up on chicks," Yamcha guffawed. "And we thought, hey, if Roshi can't do it, surely the mighty Prince of all Saiyans can?"

He was being lured into a challenge. Still, it was a challenge he found beneath him. "It is clear that I am better than that old fool in every way. I don't need to prove this to anyone," the prince amended.

"Just look at me," Vegeta wobbled in his place, jabbing a thumb into his chest. "Look at my might. If I wanted to I could lure all the women in this vicinity to my feet."

Yamcha scoffed. "Really? I dare you to make it happen!"

"Yeah, let's see it!"

"All you have to do is try to get a girl's number. You up for it man?"

Vegeta scanned the room with his eyes, looking for a way out of this predicament. At last he spotted his savior, Bulma, drinks in hand and heading his way.

"What's up, guys?"

"Bulma!" Krillin's eyes lit up. Surely she would help persuade her husband. "We were just making a bet with Vegeta."

"But the poor guy's chickening out." Yamcha added.

"Oh? You're not one to back down from a bet, Vegeta."

"We wanted to see if he can one-up Master Roshi and manage to get a girl's number, but he's too shy."

"I am not!" the prince retorted.

He'd been expecting Bulma to object. Instead she laughed. "I dunno if he can pull it off, though. Just look at that _friendly_ scowl."

Bristling, Vegeta opened his mouth to protest. Instead he grabbed a drink from Bulma and consumed it quickly.

"Do you know how Vegeta flirts with me? 'To my quarters now, woman! Kneel and fellate me!' You'd expect a prince to say the most romantic things but he's like a caveman asking for a meal."

Everyone erupted with laughter. Except Vegeta. His face burned red with embarrassment and anger.

The group then proceeded to bicker over how uninviting his hairline made him look, and how his face to forehead ratio was too disproportionate to attract women.

"Yeah, maybe you're right. Even Goku would be a better flirt."

"Kakarot?" Vegeta spun his neck so quickly he almost twisted his entire spine, and the mixture of bile and alcohol in his stomach churned. "No way can that imbecile surpass me at courtship!"

Everyone cheered him on with pats on the shoulder and a slap to his back. Somebody pinched his ass too.

"Quick, hand him another drink!"

"Here you go buddy. You're going to need it."

"If you don't get someone's number you'll have to give Roshi a back massage."

After a few more drinks, some more words of encouragement, and a quick scuffle with Yamcha and Krillin, somehow Vegeta's shirt ended up suspended on a chandelier. He was running around in only his underwear and chasing after Krillin, who was roaring with laughter.

"Ha ha! Look at that guy with those bootyshorts!" someone in the crowd hollered.

"Nice ass."

"Put some clothes on, freak!"

How dare they slander him! The prince spat back at the blur of humans surrounding him. "Few have the privilege of laying eyes on my perfect body! You should be bowing before me, Earthling filth!"

Krillin ducked beneath a table, evading his pursuer. Unable to locate his prey, Vegeta gave up on clobbering the bald midget. He remembered his objective and stomped over to the dance floor. He would obtain a human female's number and prove once and for all that he was better than everyone at everything.

A group of girls looked on in horror and recoiled as a little imp of a man hobbled toward them.

"Earth women," Vegeta slurred. "You will kneel before me and offer your phone numbers."

One girl came forward. She eyed him up and down, judging his huge, balding forehead, but appreciating his physique. "I'll give you my number, shorty."

The prince brimmed with pride. He's succeeded! He'll show the others just how amazing he was!

But before he could gloat, the girl hauled him off to the dance floor. She gyrated her crotch against his little booty shorts and was swatting away at his ass to the beat of a Nicki Minaj song. Vegeta was rendered speechless and he froze with terror.

When a stiletto heel came down hard on his foot, Vegeta snapped to his senses. Bellowing with horror, he fled and hid behind a still-twerking Yajirobe.

This task was not worth the humiliation he'd have to face, and enduring a horrible courtship dance hadn't been something he'd anticipated. He grabbed a napkin and pen from a nearby table and began scrawling down a few random numbers. 123-696-9001. Perfect.

A lopsided smirk crossed his features. This battle was won. The woman had offered her number to him anyway, he wasn't cheating.

Vegeta showed the number to his companions, and they'd laughed and offered him more to drink. The night ended with a blindfolded Oolong bludgeoning a pig piñata filled with gummy worms. Vegeta gave a hoarse cry and vomited when the entire mass of gummy worms landed in his spiky hair.


	6. a friendly rivalry bj

A/N - Thank you betaruga for hashing this idea together w/ me (and bearing with the nightmares this has triggered in you)

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><p>Bulma had just finished wetting Vegeta's cock with her mouth, absolving him of his thick, syrupy release. Sated, the prince reclined along the mattress, allowing his prized harlot to endearingly prod at his spent phallus.<p>

"I wanna know what lucky girl was the first to give you space herpes," Bulma prompted.

Vegeta shuddered painfully. This woman and the repulsive mental images she gave him...

"I've never laid with anyone_ unworthy_."

That implied everyone.

The infuriating, adorable smirk graced his lips as he clarified, "I've mad an exception of you, as low-class as you are. You are far beneath me."

"I'm your_ queen_, I'm way above you! And not just in height."

Her cutting jabs at his height didn't even trigger his aneurysms anymore. He simply scoffed.

Bulma wiggled happily in her spot. "So I'm your first?"

He didn't care to answer that.

No wonder he'd always been so angry. Poor guy just needed some tension relief. "Boring. Not even any angry blowjobs? Nothing?"

_Angry blowjobs_. That stirred something in him suddenly, a deeply repressed memory...

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><p>Long ago, in the vast reaches of space, in Sector 2H17, on Planet Frieza H-IV, there was stationed a training camp for the intergalactic overlord's army. The sounds of heated spats echoed through the dark corridors daily, a place one short-tempered (and short-statured) royal occupied.<p>

There resided in one of the changing rooms the Saiyan prince, addressing the few bruises he'd sustained post-torturous training session and changing himself into an unsoiled bodysuit.

A scent as familiar to him as his own monumental piles of explosive shit suddenly reached his perceptive nose, which he wrinkled in disgust. He pulled his spandex leotard up over his posterior, but not quickly enough. Cui caught a glimpse of the fabric beneath as he entered the room, guffawing.

"My, what a flamboyant color, Vegeta. Is that something you Saiyans wear?"

He'd seen a hint of Vegeta's pink underwear, given to him by Frieza. The tyrant knew how much the proud Prince of Saiyans despised that shade. In fact, everyone in the Planet Trade was aware of it. It was often that Vegeta was given clothing and supplies that were his least favorite color, in order to rightfully knock him down from his high horse.

Vegeta's lips curled into a nasty sneer. "Need I remind you this is the same color as Frieza's cock you're always so eager to kneel for?"

That fish-like mouth turned into a frown. Like a clown's painted grimace, the permanent displeasure evident at having to attend so many tiresome birthday parties and taking a thousand pies to the face. Not unlike the blasts of semen Vegeta was so sure Cui received.

"Well, the color's not very becoming on _you_."

"The only thing that'll be coming is Frieza in that gaping mouth of yours." Vegeta laughed at his own quip.

Cui didn't find any humor in this at all. He'd do anything for his lord.

"Let's settle this rivalry once and for all, you dirty simian!"

"Rivalry? You think too highly of yourself."

Cui's entire head turned an even deeper shade of purple as he shook with rage. Vegeta wasn't troubled at all, boldly closing the distance between himself and Cui with a few long strides and getting right in the other warrior's face.

"Why don't we find out just how good you are at servicing your beloved Frieza?"

He reached a hand out to the other man, thumbing at one of the antennae drooping from Cui's face.

He flinched away at the sudden contact. "Ah, Vegeta, don't do that..."

Such a simpering creature. Vegeta caressed with more fury and added pressure. Cui sobbed with blushing realization that he was enjoying this.

With his other hand Vegeta curled a thumb into one of the purple alien's head craters and began stroking along its rim. A garbled choking sound was emitted from the head hole that was actually a fourth mouth. A slender tongue emerged and swathed itself along the intruding digit.

Those strange craters on his scalp were just begging to have several thick cocks plunged deep inside them. One needn't worry about running the risk of sustaining injury to Cui's brain. There probably wasn't one in that empty head of his.

But Vegeta was more interested in what that smart mouth could do.

"Don't just stand there sputtering. On your knees."

Cui obliged, as he was used to following orders of sexual service.

His maw of a mouth hovered over Vegeta's still-flaccid appendage. Cui rolled the tight spandex down jutted hips, his hot breath caressing rapidly hardening Saiyan chode.

Vegeta impatiently smacked his swollen sconge across Cui's face. The alien relieved his prince soon enough, twisting several tongues over Vegeta's risen length.

A twitching smirk crossed Vegeta's lips when one of the head-crater tongues slithered under the Saiyan's foreskin and pushed its way into his urethra, while another tongue swirled across the fleshy fun bridge leading to the ape's hairy anus.

Unable to take the taunting suspense any longer, Vegeta thrust the purple head back and plunged his penis deep inside the welcoming canker-lined orifice. He was immediately appeased at the spittle sloshing all over his fleshy unit, and the compressing sucking as Cui guzzled away at all four inches of erect meat popsicle.

Vegeta hissed through his teeth. Damn, this purple putz could suck some good dick. The prince instantly felt jealous, now confirmed of the high grade service Frieza received daily. Only those of the mighty Saiyan warrior race should be granted such superior oral copulation, damn it.

In his anger Vegeta crushed one of the round bulbous tips of Cui's antennae between his gloved fingers, causing it to recede into the other man's cheek, like a snail's eye stalk withdrawing when prodded at. But Cui didn't seem to be bothered. He continued slurping away at his beloved rival's sickeningly sour willy.

When Cui's 9th tongue wriggled up his prince charming's asshole and the lower-class soldier cupped and squeezed the giant, distended balls slapping into his chin, Vegeta's face went completely red.

The rectal-questing tongue prodded further and curled back to sharply press at feces-flavored man gland, causing Vegeta to buckle. Cui could taste Vegeta's last meal, processed and shaped into its new brown form in the Saiyan's colon.

A sickening sloshing sound garbled out from inside Cui's three mouths as he gobbled down precum, and a guttural rumble rippled through Vegeta's bowels as that long tongue lapped at his insides.

Vegeta sneered horribly and whipped out his contracting love-muscle at the last second. The spasming pecker shot streams of chunky yellow slime over the kneeling soldier's head and into both of Cui's head-pussies.

Instantly the royal felt post-orgasm shame and regret looking down upon the purple prick, plastered in thick stringy lines of nut butter. His head looked like a big ice cream scoop that'd been drizzled with caramel.

This blunder would be forced into the far recesses of the warriors' minds, but would only strengthen the deep-seated hatred and uncomfortable sexual tension between the two.

This would be remembered by Vegeta years later, when Bulma would ask if he'd ever acquired E.T. gonorrhea, and this would end with Vegeta confessing his intergalactic, interspecies sins to her, curled up and weeping into her lap while she pet his ridiculously spiky head. Poor chum was mourning his first lover, definitely. No wonder he got a little queasy when they'd watch nature documentaries and a school of fish would pop up on screen. He'd never see a fish's mouth in the same way again, not without reflecting upon the bond he'd shared with his big gay purple partner.

And then Bulma kindly offered to suck his dick again while role playing as Cui.


	7. pastries and propagating

"What are you doing? Get away from me!" The proud Prince of all Saiyans recoiled from the blonde bimbo. She was intruding upon his bubble of personal space, which had a circumference of about ten feet. For her it stretched to a mile.

"Veggie, dear, you must try this cake!" She insisted.

"No!" He shut his eyes, trying not to look at the gently sagging flesh of the woman's bare breasts, which had the remnants of a chocolate cake smeared across them.

"What about a martini, then?"

He opened his mouth to hurl a barrage of protests. But the alcoholic beverage in Pansy's manicured hand was overturned into his gaping maw. He fell to his hands and knees, sputtering and convulsing as the vile liquid burned straight through his sensitive nasal cavity.

"You are one thoroughly _aggravating_ harlot," he wheezed, glaring up at the wicked temptress.

Fuck. His eyes fell immediately upon a frosting-smothered nipple.

"Don't be such a shy boy!" She seemed to somehow acknowledge he'd glanced at her chest (despite having her eyes shut at all times), as she began to thumb at her chocolaty nipples, encroaching upon him still.

"You'd make such a good husband for my Bulma."

Vegeta grimaced. Why was she bringing that blue-haired harpy into this? Although thinking about her now, he'd really prefer her company over this insane biddy's.

When the Missus began drizzling chocolate syrup over the blonde curls between her legs, the prince shut his eyes, his entire body shaking. He looked to be wincing from great physical pain.

"Come have a bite of this, sweetie."

Vegeta leapt from the nearest window, howling as his body fell fifty feet to the ground below. He broke an ankle upon impact.

It was Bulma who found him covered in bruises and sobbing into the grass of the East lawn, and it was her who subsequently helped tend to his injuries, kissing at his boo-boo's and making the prince stammer and blush, and then fuck her hard into the mattress while weeping in pain, leading to the conception of a lilac-haired boy who would alter the course of their doomed timeline.

Once again it was Pansy Brief who was responsible for saving the future. Her and those sagging breasts slathered in chocolate cake.


	8. bulma x vegeta x 18

Some time after the Cell Games had passed, Bulma had made a new BFF in Eighteen, to Vegeta's great displeasure.

The ultimate betrayal. His prized courtesan, associating with that imitation-human on such an intimate level. It boiled his blood. The ladies did everything together, from shopping for vibrators, to going out to get their hair done, and telling each other stories about their dwarfish boyfriends bending over backwards to perform sexual tasks for them.

And it seemed that one day, somehow, they'd broached a topic of extreme depravity, and they'd decided upon involving Vegeta in a threesome with them.

Vegeta was currently attempting to scoot away from the machine that was now sharing his and Bulma's bed. A muscle beneath one eye began to spasm as his blood pressure skyrocketed.

He could only look on with hatred as the mother of his child helped strip the mechanical monster of her lingerie.

"Oh, Eighteen, they're so big!" Bulma cooed, weighing the blonde's succulent knockers in her hands. The other woman was silent, but she smiled proudly.

"Okay, Veggie—Don't look at me like that!—now, we're going to lube you up and sandwich you between us. I'll be on top, and you'll be taking it up the ass with her strap-on."

Vegeta tried to scurry away to the furthest corner of the bed, but Bulma leapt on him, grabbing him by his waist and wrestling him to the mattress.

"You will not make me couple with that appliance!" he roared.

"Fuck you! You'll do as your Queen tells you!"

"No!"

"Who had to sneak my parents' cleaning bots into your gravity capsule when you coated the walls with your blood and semen? _I_ did, that's who! And I'll do it again if I have to! So you must do something for me in exchange!"

The gnome scowled at her. Then he looked to the bionic woman, who didn't seem perturbed by nor interested in the quarrel taking place before her. She was staring at a photo hanging on the wall, one depicting Vegeta huddling possessively over a holiday feast, a gravy-soiled hand reaching toward an entire turkey, his other hand grasping for the offending camera that had been shoved in his face and forever capturing his image on film.

Fine, then. Just like that Christmas dinner he had hogged, he would pilfer any pleasure derived from this deplorable act all for himself. He would fuck this blonde bitch so fast that the hard drive inside her would not have time to carry out .

Vegeta sneered hideously. Finally, he would get his vengeance against her for the beating she'd given him.

"I don't normally lower myself to being serviced by appliances. Don't be surprised if your metal interior corrodes away when I'm through with you," he boasted.

"We'll see," Eighteen replied coolly. "That is, if you can get it up to begin with. I'm sure if Goku were here he'd fare better."

Immediately enraged, the prince hurled pejoratives from his snarling mouth, at the same time whipping out his gnarled chode, as if drawing his sword for battle.

"Oh. It's so puny. Just like the rest of you."

The android simply flipped him over, a metallic creaking coming from her arms as she did so. Bulma assisted her friend in ripping Vegeta's shorts down to his ankles.

Eighteen grimaced. "Gross. What's with the big brown spot above his butt? That's not herpes, is it?"

"No, that's just what's left of his tail. But I thought the same thing the first time I saw it."

Ice-cold fingers made contact with his bare ass, sending a shiver down Vegeta's spine. He felt a moment of comfort when the familiar warmth of Bulma's hand caressed a buttock, but relief was short-lived when Eighteen's steel hand clamped his dangling sack and yanked hard. An agonized bellow escaped Vegeta's throat.

"Ha ha! He sounds like a goat when you do that. Do it again."

Vegeta kicked the android, but all this did was shatter his foot against her iron body. She wrangled the fallen prince to the mattress, crushing him beneath her heavy robotic form. Vegeta could only struggle helplessly in the machine's powerful hold.

"I might have to break your arms again if you don't comply." She didn't even have to raise her voice above its soft timbre to send a chill rippling through the Saiyan.

Bulma encouraged the other woman, "Ooh, threaten him some more. That gets me _so_ hot."

Vegeta couldn't fight back a pained whimper. Bulma was supposed to be on his side. And now she'd made him engage in copulating with the cyborg.

He was quickly reminded of how Bulma had forced him to watch "The Terminator" with her the other night, and now he wept, imagining the metal skeleton that was surely inside Eighteen's body. And this wind-up doll would be fucking him. Maybe she would pull back her imitation vulva flaps to reveal a spinning screwdriver, which would promptly drive its sharp tip into his helpless rectum and screw the ever-living shit out of him.

Not to his surprise, Eighteen extended her jaw, like a tractor preparing itself to scoop up a mountain of sand, and from her mouth came a whirring sound not unlike a sink's garbage disposal unit. Vegeta half expected to see a series of sharp whirling blades from within her maw, something grotesque and morbid and akin to the robot shark from James and the Giant Peach (another nightmare-evoking film he'd been made to sit through).

Nope, no metallic blades in her mouth. It was only her teeth that were spinning.

The gyrating abyss was closing in on his cock. Oh, GOD-

Garbled screaming filled the vicinity. The shredding was done when the tip of Eighteen's nose touched Vegeta's abdomen—a mere three inches from the point where she'd taken him in her mouth. She pulled away to reveal the flensed and bloodied tatters of skin of what was formerly his cock.

Vegeta woke from his nightmare, crawled into Bulma's welcoming bosoms, shuddering and weeping, to the confusion of the blue-haired woman. "What's wrong? Had another nightmare about worms in your intestines?"

"No. Not tonight."


End file.
